Caregiver Revolution: 5 Steps to Enlightened Caregiving
By helping others you prepare for a better end of life
Grant Abrams & Patricia Elizabeth
drawings by Lin Larsen
edit 8/20/10
How to Use this Book
This little book is about personal growth, wisdom, and sharing. It's based on the premise that you can grow and gain wisdom by helping others at the end of their lives and then you can share this wisdom with those who are fortunate enough to be with you at the end of your life.
Though written for all levels of caregivers, this book is well suited for those who want to take their caregiving work to the next level. The first 3 chapters present information and exercises that will be helpful to everyone. The last chapters continue with advanced techniques which reveal caregiving in a new light, as a tool which in itself can help caregivers deepen their own spiritual practices.
Program directors, supervisors and workshop presenters should feel free to use this material in their clinical in-services. It is practical and conducive to group presentation. Please contact us with any questions. We are happy to share this material. We hope for a great deal...not the least of which is to revolutionize caregiving in the hearts and minds of the dedicated care providers who are doing this valuable work on a daily basis.
Table of contents
Prologue
It's crazy but true. Only today, Saturday April 17th 2010, after a few years of working on this book, I read the following and realize that Elisabeth Kubler-Ross stole my idea:
“I want to assure you that it is a blessing to sit at the bedside of a dying patient. Dying doesn't have to be a sad and horrible matter. Instead, you can experience many wonderful and loving things. What you learn from dying patients you can pass on to your children and to your neighbors, and maybe our world would become a paradise again. I believe now is the time to start.” On Life After Death, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, page 20
OK. Brilliant me. I thought that I had come up with this idea, the concept of the caregiver revolution, just a few years ago...and there it is, many years before, spelled out plain as day!
I am certain my co-author Patricia Elizabeth is giggling as she watches me write this book. Pat has been doing death and dying work for many years and knew Elisabeth Kubler-Ross well. In some mysterious fashion they both laid the ground work for this book, each in her own way but both with constant, and I mean really constant, efforts...traveling the globe, giving workshops, and helping people everywhere.
I hope that I have continued and developed the concept of compassionate caregiving as Elisabeth Kubler-Ross would have wanted. I also hope that these pages do justice to the untiring efforts of Patricia Elizabeth.
Above all I hope that this little book will benefit all beings, including millions of hard working clinicians and caregivers all over the world.
- Grant Abrams
Introduction - Help Yourself by Helping Others
We already know that for you, its “never about me.” Caregivers are selfless...often too selfless. But believe it or not, you can take care of yourself while caring for others. You can even use caregiving as a path in which to grow and work with larger issues surrounding life and death. Your efforts to become a better caregiver today will help you and those around you tomorrow. By helping your loved one you prepare for a better end of life. This is the essence of the caregiver revolution.
Of course you don't normally think about this. You don't think about yourself and no one considers the future. We live in denial of aging and end of life issues. That's why the caregiver revolution is invaluable. But the best thing is that it happens naturally. You don't have to change a thing about what you are doing, you just have to change your attitude about it.
Caregiving is a precious opportunity to help others but you never think of how much it is helping you! By doing this work you are naturally creating a more positive environment for the end of your own life. You will be able to handle your death gracefully, knowledgeably, and peacefully. Those around you at that time will benefit from this and will, in turn, pass it on. Can you see how this is a win, win, win, win situation? Your you, your care partner, your (eventual) caregivers and even their caregivers will benefit from your efforts.
How to Make the Revolution Happen
You can benefit from caregiving if you're able to:
It's that simple. That's our premise...and our promise.
The methodology is simple. We help you to get organized, we give you the tools to work with stress, and then we help you to strengthen your caregiver attention. With this attention you can help others in transition because you can stay focused on the needs of the present moment during a crisis.
Does this make sense to you? We hope so. We hope that you'll join us on a wonderful journey which leads to places that only you can imagine for yourself.
A quick clarification is in order. In our title, the word 'enlightened' means 'well informed' or 'free from prejudice or superstition.' We do not presume that you'll get any wondrous spiritual illumination from this book. We'll teach you a few tricks of the trade. We want you to get down to the brass tacks, but with intention and a sense of humor. Knit-browed seriousness is not what we're after here.
The 5 Steps to Better Caregiving
This book will give you tools to help you make the most of your caregiving work and improve your skills. We have developed these techniques in workshops and while working 'in the field' over the past 20 years. These techniques will help you to develop your inherent abilities to be present in the present moment and grow as a care provider.
Step by step you'll learn how to:
This may seem very ambitious to you, but it is our sincere hope in writing this book that you become more confident in helping those in crisis, dealing with your own end of life issues and helping others at the time of death.
The tools and techniques given in this book were chosen because they are time honored and effective. No religious affiliation, creed, doctrine or belief is implied or necessary. Our view of spirituality is that the expression of God, (the creator, Allah, Yahweh, the highest power...what ever you want to call it) is in the details. In the beginning we advise that you stay very detail oriented. In any situation you can intensify your focus on the specifics of that situation and that will be a window to a higher spiritual energy entering your work.
For more information please contact Grant Abrams at hospiceweb@gmail.com
